Heading to the hotel from Zion on Friday, I stopped the soaking wet Jeep to take this picture.  Even though I have never been a very religious person, rays of sun poking through clouds like that always made me think that Heaven had opened to let in someone truly special.  

Early last week I spoke with my grandmother.  She was my last remaining grandparent, and even at the time, I had a feeling it would be the last time we would speak.  She passed away this morning in her nursing home in New Jersey.  She was just about a month shy of her 90th birthday.

Cecile Dorothy Soule was born and raised in Portland, Maine.  Growing up she was a noted athlete, particularly as a swimmer.  She placed a great emphasis on being comfortable in the water and was always willing to swim in the frigid Maine ocean with me.

She lived a full life and was an amazing grandmother.  As the only local grandchild I benefited greatly by spending time with her very often.  Whether it was walking the beach, eating lobster rolls and ice cream, spraying her endlessly with a hose, or hiding behind couches playing Star Wars as she pretended to be Princess Leia, there are tons of amazing memories. She taught me to play cribbage and introduced me to Golden Girls and Star Search.  Because of her I will forever wonder if Beau and Hope will find happiness together.

As I got older she continued to be a strong influence in my life.  I credit her with helping me get over the idea of being embarassed by causing one of the most humilating moments of my life.  She and my grandfather picked me up from high school one day, and in front of most of the school called to me while standing through the sunroof of their car, “Hey Tiger, over here!”  She always called me Tiger, I’m not sure why. Sitting and typing this, I can remember the feeling of that moment.  I wanted to sink into the ground and vanish.  I would happily relive it a dozen times for another day with her at her peak.

Over the last five years her health has deteriorated, and it has been hard to watch.  I wasn’t there as much as I feel I should have been, but each time I saw her, I could watch her face light up.  I spoke with her often. After my grandfather passed in December and she moved to a nursing home in New Jersey from the assisted living place Portland it became more difficult to reach her.  But that is okay.  During that last conversation, I could hear the happiness in her voice to be talking with me.  She even said to say hello to my girls (always meaning my wife and daughters) and then to squeeze the “Little Ones” (referring to just my daughters).

Toward the end of last week she stopped being responsive.  She laid in bed talking to people only she could see.  I’d like to think that sun coming through the clouds I photographed on Friday was her being welcomed to the next life.  One where she would be reunited with my grandfather.

She was huge part of my life and held me in a special spot in her heart. I will miss her.

So, just in case she can see this, I hope she knows that Tiger will always love her.