There’s a lot to be said for people who have hit the ground running. You can argue that they’re the first one to succeed. It could be said that they’re ambitious, destined for greatness. Or, in our case, you could end up making progress on a World Record that no one truly wants credit for setting… (and that record isn’t for longest blog post, although I may have given it a shot here…)

Our first day started early, really early. We were all up by 6am local time and ready to hit our first adventure, a pre-opening tour of the Sistine Chapel and Vatican Museum. Nothing says wake me up and get me ready to go than a couple millenia of religious history. I was truly worried about the kids. Fine, I was worried about me. Years of religious education gave me the knowledge I needed to really appreciate the trip, but that wasn’t getting the Fun Meter going.We took a cab from our place to the meeting point for the tour, about 15 minutes. Which was nice. Somehow we got lucky on our place being so convenient to most of our activities.

Dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica from the Vatican Museum Terrace

The tour we booked was to take us in through the Vatican Museum in a somewhat hurried manner and straight to the Sistine Chapel. While we were waiting to enter, our tour guide Laura gave us an overview of the artwork in the Chapel and its symbology (cue Robert Langdon references) as she isn’t allowed to speak in the actual Chapel due to tour guides causing too much noise in the sacred space. It was great for her to point out some of the more controversial elements of Michelangelo’s artistry, and shockingly I think that some of our tour group weren’t aware that he was one of the Church’s most outspoken critics. But let’s face it, anyone who has the cajones to paint someone mooning God on the ceiling of one of the world’s holiest places knowing it would be preserved forever for posterity obviously is pretty sure of his game.Once we entered we were truly taken back by the museum. The sheer volume of items and their link to history was overwhelming. Seeing things which were donated by some of the world’s most famous and most infamous rulers we’ve only heard about in history books was something we couldn’t have prepared to see. The endless displays of tapestries, sarcophagi, communion instruments, and statues is unbelievabl and you almost become numb to it. Or maybe that was the heat which had been steadily climbing since we entered. The high in Rome today was only about 92 F, which isn’t bad for a group from the desert. However, we weren’t prepared for what that meant in ancient buildings with little to no air conditioning. Especailly when we have been taught to not try and carry water into anyplace in the US, clearly not a thing here. Note to all: carry a refillable water bottle with you everywhere; Rome has tons of public watering fountains with perfectly clean cool water to refill your bottle for free.

This picture represents the first time through and and almost no people. Yes, really.

As we approached the Sistine Chapel, the whole mood changed. I’m not a religious person, but I respect the place it holds in the lives of the significant majority of the world’s population. But I have to say, regardless of your faith or the identity of the god you pray to, this room is truly something to behold. The artwork and stories that it tells are beyond compare. You can tell Michelangelo was a sculptor and not a painter based on his respect for the human form. He manages to carve three dimensions from every person and then extends the practice to painted on columns which Rylie and I argued for 10 minutes about whether they were real or not. They aren’t. Where Michelangelo’s mastery covers the ceiling and wall behind the altar, the work of Boticelli adorns the sides telling the story of Moses on one side and Jesus on the other. The works are beautiful and both masters demonstrate a truly deep knowledge of the Catholic religion and it’s symbolism. We could’ve stayed for hours and not seen everything.But its a good thing that we didn’t. The second and third times we entered the chapel (again you’ll have to wait for the explanation) we understood why you didn’t want to be there once it opens to the public and other tour groups: people are awful. You are inside a somber place of worship – you should know to be quiet. If you don’t know that, you shouldn’t be allowed in. Each of the last two times in the room it was louder than a middle school cafeteria. The Swiss Guard – who are not a joke might I add – were constantly telling people to be quiet and threatening to confiscate phones and cameras for those who violate the no photograph rule. The lack of respect really bothered me, perhaps because I was raised differently.

Speaking of the “No Photograph Rule,” I have to get this out there and I will do my best to do so without excessive commentary. You can’t take pictures of the inside of the Sistine Chapel not because you need to preserve the sanctity of the space or avoid the constant blinding flashes, but rather to adhere to a contractual obligation the Catholic church has with a Japanese company who funded the restoration of the Chapel in return for all photographic rights within the space. Yup. Commerce at its greatest. I had no idea until this morning and frankly I would have preferred not to know.

After leaving the chapel the first time, we went through more rooms. And the volume of people had grown exponentially. Even the silly little radios and earpieces we were using were barely enough to make the guide’s explanations audible. With more people, the heat grew considerably and it wasn’t long before I could see the familiar look on Chloe’s face: she was done. The heat had gotten to her. As the only thing left was Saint Peter’s Basilica, which I knew was a must-see for Michelle, I took Chloe out of the tour group to find a cafe and get her some water and a cool place to sit for a bit. This was a noble effort that possessed a couple of significant miscalculations.

Miscalculation #1: I had no idea where I was going. The Vatican might as well be a maze. I was waiting for Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade style booby traps around every corner and when we finally found a small air conditioned cafe, I expected it to contain prices which would force me to “choose wisely.” I was wrong: four waters and a Powerade for 9 euros, seemed crazy cheap but I took it and we grabbed a seat. Chloe drank the Powerade and most of a water before we headed off to find our way to the Basilica. As she and I were heading into the Sistine Chapel for the third time she started to look a little green. When Chloe changes colors, it isn’t a good thing.As you leave the Sistene Chapel you have two options – a door on the right which must be the way to Saint Peter’s (it is) or the door on the left which is the way we went the last two times and takes you back to the beginning of the museum. As we were walking through the right hand door was mobbed and not moving, the left hand door was wide open. I steered my little traveler left and we took off down the halls in search of a trash can or bathroom. They weren’t any. People likely thought we were crazy running through the museum and Chloe fits through spaces in crowds I don’t have a prayer of making without knocing people down. After about a quarter mile, as we approachd the room with ancient marble floors and a 100m of display cases of ancient communion service artficats, it happened. She tried to hold it in. She put her hand up to her mouth, but just like a thumb over a garden hose, that only served to spread the mayhem. Fortunately the citrus Powerade was diluted by the bottle of water and was just a shiny wet liquid on the floor. She looked at me, and I expected her to cry, but she didn’t. She apologized to me and asked me to go find someone. I found a nearby Security officer and told him my daughter had been sick and that I was sorry. He misunderstood and though she had spilled water and said “No problem, have a good day.” We didn’t argue and went to find a restroom to clean her up. It was a proud moment. As a Waldron, I have thrown up in some public places, its kinda what we do, especially as kids. But my daughter had just thrown up in the Vatican Museum, in an ancient hallway, and walked away like she owned the place.

Miscalculation #2: Thinking we could find Saint Peter’s Basilica without completely backtracking.  We couldn’t.  So we did.  Chloe and I did the whole second half of the tour twice.  Which is likely the best explanation for why she and I finished the day with over 20,000 steps each compared to Michelle and Rylie’s 13,000.  So we saw everything again.  We’re both good with the idea of going back, and won’t be putting it on a to-do list anytime soon.

But just a note to everyone, and I really mean this: take the preopen tour.  It is totally worth it.  But do it in October.

After getting cleaned up and fighting our way back through the crowds, we found Michelle and Rylie at Saint Peter’s Basilica and promptly headed for a cab to get back to our apartment to change out of long pants and shoulder covering attire for the ladies so we could head to an outdoor tour of the Roman Forum, Palantine Hill, Circus Maximus, and the Coloseum. Afterall, it was only noon…

We had to get to the park for the start of our tour for 1:15pm and somehow we found the only taxi driver in Rome who isn’t a complete risk taking lunatic. He was a Pauly D look-alike contest winner, pumping dance music in the cab, but drove like some someone four times his age. Miraculously we made it on time and once again donned radios and earpieces for our tour. Our guide, Mauro, was fantastic. Great Italian accent and very knowledgable.

He walked us through a number of the Hills of Rome, and showed us the ruins of the emperor’s palace. It was truly spectacular. Even though only shapes and fragments remain, it was possible to envision what the past looks like, and quite easy to be in awe. Shade was hard to come by, and there were a lot of stairs. We were approaching the heat of the day, but fortunately we packed two bottles of water each and consumed them proudly refilling when possible. I has also packed a backpacking towel which I wet and used to cover Chloe’s neck to keep her cool. Definite improvement, or so we thought.

Circus Maximus – where 250,000 people watched Ben Hur.

As we were walking through the Roman Forum, Rylie and I noticed that Michelle and Chloe were missing. Turns out that there was a relapse, which this time was better timed because she was able to hit a trash can a few times. Composed herself, walked a little further, and then added some to the Roman Road we were walking on that had been built in 2 BC. Pretty awesome. Not only had she found a way to throw up in the Vatican, but she had added a Roman Empire landmark to her hitlist in the same day. My baby.

THE trach can.

She perked up after that, fueled by the idea of getting through to the Colosseum, had she been a gladiator she likely would’ve won on sheer willpower and dedication alone.

You know the guy who gets hit in the face with a mace within seconds of reaching the Colosseum floor of every gladiator movie?  That’s him on the left of this picture in the hat.  Trust me.

To me, this next part was the highlight of the day: we entered the Colosseum through the gladiator gate and onto the fighting floor. For anyone who has ever stood on a playing field inside one of today’s stadiums, this puts those feelings to shame. As you came through the tunnel, you couldn’t help but feel the wind blowing through the blinding sun at the end of the tube and walking out into the daylight blinking, while surrounded by this massive structure. For us, we knew with relative certainty that we would be leaving unharmed. For many thousands before us, that wasn’t the case. The feeling was truly humbling and one I have never felt before and may not ever again. I could have stood there all day in awe, but as the adrenaline subsided and the heat settled in we welcomed the end of another 3 hour tour and prepared to head home.

Just a word of advice to future Rome visitors: getting around is challenging. Walking is an option, but in July it seems silly because its just uncomfortable. Uber is an option, but frankly I don’t trust random people in a city full of streets barely a car wide – my truck wouldn’t fit anywhere here. We grabbed another cab using one of the cab copany apps – which saves on using paper money by allowing payment by credit card. The app had been problematic to date with GPS signals and freezing my phone, but this time it did the unthinkable and didn’t transmit payment even though it initially indicated it had. A few minutes later I received an inquisitive call through WhatsApp, my new favorite messaging tool, from Massimo informing me that my transaction didn’t go through. His English was only slightly better than my nonexistent Italian, but we were able to work it out. And he was surprised to get a tip. But after what I put him through it was deserved.

After resting for a bit, we went to dinner at Osteria St Ana about a block from our apartment. It had fantastic reviews and was noted as having air conditioning so it became a family favorite before we even ordered. The menu was perfect, the service amazing, and the food was exactly what we all wanted. Michelle had gnocchi with a perfect red sauce, Chloe had spaghetti with the same red sauce and parmesan, Rylie enjoyed short cut past with bacon and garlic, and I had meat lasagna with mushrooms which may be the best pasta dish I’ve ever had. A serving a tiramisu which was shared and almost resulted in a reenactment of the Coloseum floor and a bottle of wine later, we were done and ready to call it.

On the way back to the apartment we stopped for more cash as Euros seem to spend easily, a six pack of large water bottles for tomorrow’s adventure, and gelato at the little place nextdoor. It was a great day.I have to admit that sharing today’s adventure with my family has been one of the best days of my life. From Michelle proclaiming it to be “balls hot”, to Chloe painting Rome’s landmarks in an effort to reach World Record status, to watching Rylie continue to be the toughest kid I’ve ever seen and gut out today’s schedule and heat without a complaint. It was a day none of us will ever forget, and probably the best family outing we’ve had. Love these ladies.